Patrick Pt. 01

Introducing my readers to Patrick has been something I’ve been struggling with. For the first couple years, my lawyers, the lawyer representing the four households sued by those in The Compound along with a couple of my neighbors gave me the impression they thought I was nuts or a bit “too sensitive.” I believe the “too sensitive” thing is an explicit bias many people have against gay men. I’ve seen and experienced that bias far too much. An acquaintance who did not know I was gay, asked me once “Why tho thensitive?” Immediately I came out to him and called him on his crap of implying gay men are too sensitive which translates to weak. And for the record… I’m not nearly as sensitive as that snowflake sitting on the Supreme Court named Brett Kavanaugh.  

Here’s the juxtaposition I’m in when trying to introduce Patrick Ascolese to the readers of this blog… I cannot come across as too sensitive or unjustified, yet I need to talk about a man who I consider one of the worst humans alive and a man who I think is obsessed with me. Someone I believe has made a sport out of harassing and stalking me for years on end. How do I do that and not have readers think I’m delusional, acting out of spite, or simply “too sensitive?” My answer was to lead with a post about experiences others have had with Patrick. That’s what this post will be and why it is titled “Patrick Pt. 01. The subsequent posts about Patrick will be about my personal experiences with him and whatever new craziness he conjures up. That being said, let’s get to the point of this post now…

We had been in mediation for several hours. Those in The Compound were in a separate room with their lawyers and the rest of us (five households) were in another room with our lawyers. My spouse and I had our lawyer in the room and the other four households had their lawyer in the room. At this point in time, I was simply outraged over Patrick’s chronic behavior and had already made it very clear to the mediator. The mediator then said something about Patrick which triggered me, and I popped off. He was a bit stunned by my passion/vitriol/whatever. Also obviously stunned was the lawyer representing the other folks in the room. Our lawyer looked disappointed after I snapped. I immediately felt like the stereotype of “too sensitive” gay man who had just been dismissed.

The mediator took a few seconds to recalibrate his thoughts in silence after I snapped. He then asked for a show of hands of those who had never felt uncomfortable around Patrick. Not one hand went up. The look on his face and the face of the lawyer representing the others in the room was like a lightbulb had turned on. Vindication was mine. I immediately went from being mortified, frustrated and disappointed to a profound sense of relief and vindication. The entire community had just unequivocally showed each of them had felt uncomfortable around Patrick. I was not alone. That one moment changed the dynamics in the room moving forward.

This is the experience one of my neighbors had with Patrick on the way home from mediation that night:

It’s obvious to me that Patrick was trying to make my neighbor feel uncomfortable by intimidating her. He and his brother in-law Drew Gillespie were together, so it was also a numbers game… One single woman and two men with one of the men obviously trying to intimidate her. I assume it worked because she “let them walk way ahead.” I believe Patrick worships the ground Drew walks on and Drew knows this and thus Drew lets Patrick do the dirty work for The Compound. Whereas Patrick is the one being called out here, I believe it needs to be made clear Drew was present and could have stopped Patrick’s attempts at intimidation yet he did not.

Patrick LOVES to stare people down. I believe the only logical explanation for all the staring he does is that it is an attempt at intimidation. I’ve driven into my parking spot and had Patrick come up to the window of his home, which is right beside the passenger side window of my car and stare at me from inside his home on several occasions. He’s creepy and something is just not right with him (IMO). Enough about me…

Unfortunately, staring is not all Patrick does to intimidate. He stopped confronting another female neighbor after he confronted her and her wife once and she told him “I don’t feel comfortable with this.” He then took to confronting the vendors she employed. Here is an email exchange I had with this neighbor about Patrick confronting vendors she employed:

First off, what kind of adult avoids talking directly to their neighbor about what may or may not be a valid concern? Why would he not approach her? Was it because she had already told him she was uncomfortable with his actions? Was it because he wanted to exercise some perceived sense of power over her? Was it to intimidate the vendors so they would never come back? Was it because he knew he had already nuked all bridges between him and the community? If any one of those reasons are valid, Patrick knew damn well he could behave like an adult and have his lawyers contact her lawyer to ask the needed questions but he opted to police the vendors on the property.

I believe the incident where Patrick confronts the senior citizen gardener needs a paragraph of its own… If memory serves me correctly, our neighbor found the gardener using a service which links seniors in need of extra cash with people willing to employ them. This elderly woman was simply weeding a strip of land no wider than a foot which runs along the side of the driveway between the driveway and a fence. What harm was she doing? If someone wanted to pay a senior citizen to weed my property for me, I’d be grateful. Keep in mind this area she was weeding is covered by an easement for our use. The residents of The Compound never once weeded it or removed the blackberry vines. It was a simple act of making the place look a little nicer for everyone, yet Patrick had to strut, intimidate an old lady, and anger his neighbors even more! There was absolutely no need for Patrick to intimidate a senior citizen who was an employee of his neighbor. I’m still disgusted and outraged over his confronting this older lady as I write about it.

This next email is a bit of a loaded one for this post. I really want to keep this post about Patrick and his impact on the community so consider this a teaser as well as a point of information. When I opened this post, I said I believe he’s obsessed with me. What I believe this email exchange alludes to is that Patrick’s obsession with (and harassment of) me was known and acknowledged by my neighbors back in 2017:

Here we have one of my neighbors stating that she’d “love to see him (Patrick) try to harass” her. It is no secret within the community that Patrick has a habit of harassing people. It’s also no secret that Patrick was saving the worst he has for me alone. I believe it was clear to everyone that I was the target of his hate. I think I know why I am his target and will get to that one later, but my shrink made this offhand comment once and I know some of you are thinking the same… “Because he’s gay?”   <I think I just threw up a little bit.>

The neighbor who wanted him to harass her did tell me once that Patrick did come out and yell at her and her boyfriend as they took the trash out one night. She couldn’t make out what he was saying because her and her boyfriend were talking, and she didn’t want to pay him any attention so she just ignored him.

Several years ago, one of the neighbors who lives a block away came over. We were talking about whatever it was this person wanted to discuss when they changed the subject and inquired about the people in The Compound. I swallowed hard and tried to be diplomatic. I told this person the entire community was embroiled in a lawsuit because they had notified the community of their intention to build over the easement we had on their property. This person unloaded. It started with a very harsh critique of the bright multicolored pallets Kate had lined the public sidewalk with.

After our conversation about those hideous pallets, it turned directly to Patrick and the “nanny.” I was asked if he was sleeping with the nanny. I said I didn’t want to go there because I didn’t want to think about it. They then doubled down about how it was obvious he was doting over her. The passion this person had in their voice along with being both uncomfortable and shocked made me laugh.

Inside I knew it was wrong to be laughing at the expense of the “nanny”. However, laughing about the situation and having someone who knew nothing about the community dynamics trigger that laughter was a little refreshing. I knew it was wrong to laugh about the scenario because I perceived the nanny to be incredibly young and an easy victim. Had I known how truly vulnerable this person was I would have called it out right then and not laughed.

Patrick and Emily had been using their “nanny” as a pawn in their legal shenanigans for some time before I realized the true nature of this relationship. They had been mentioning their “nannies” in their own declarations as well as having their employees provide declarations in their legal maneuvering. I believe their nannies are just another tool in Patrick’s obsession with me. They’ve weaponized the “nanny” so effectively against me that I’ve come to expect it. This email I sent to my lawyers, and the emails which followed it, are a perfect example of how they use and weaponize their “nannies”:

I sent that email at 1:22 PM. At 1:39 those in The Compound had this email sent to my lawyer as well as the lawyers for the rest of the community who had nothing to do with this:

Our lawyer responded with this at 1:50 PM:

I see this as one more attempt at slander and liable by those in The Compound as well as their lawyers. Furthermore, Patrick and Emily apparently have no problem whatsoever using their “nanny” as a legal leverage as well as a tool in an attempt to slander me to my neighbors. I’m so keenly aware of this tactic that I sent an email to my lawyer signaling possible incoming shenanigans prior to the shenanigans starting. Checkmate.

It was only several month later, when those in the compound took me to court for flipping them off, that I learned Patrick and Emily had an au pair; not a nanny. As I read a court document submitted by Kate, it came across as if she thought an “au pair” was an exotic luxury item. I immediately felt so incredibly sorry for this young woman who was being drug into this nightmare by her employers and their family. It was now apparent to me that Kate and Drew had no problem exploiting this young woman either.

An au pair is not a US Citizen. An au pair works day and night as a house cleaner and nanny in exchange for room and board. Any money they may receive is far below the minimum wage. I do not know the terms of the contract in place but do believe it can be terminated. As anyone can imagine, the au pair industry is one ripe for exploitation and abuse. These young people know they are in the United States at the will of their employer. Even if Patrick and Emily did not threaten their au pair – and I am not saying they did – I’m sure that young woman knows what’s at stake if she does not do their bidding.

Another example of Patrick expanding on his reputation throughout the larger community came from one of the most unexpected places; someone we employed. We had a vendor over doing some work on our home. This person was an older individual who was so sweet it made my heart melt. Just imagine the sweetest older person you know and then make the individual gentler… That is this person. It was a full day job, so we did what we normally do when someone is spending a full day working for us and offered them lunch. They declined but the dynamics changed, and this person became much friendlier and welcoming after the offer of lunch. About an hour later they alluded to having done some work in The Compound. I inquired as to what unit. It was Patrick’s home and this person stiffened up and said Patrick was difficult to work for. I was respectful and said I would never work for him and that I feel sorry for anyone who does. The vendor responded by saying Patrick was not a nice person and quickly went back to work as a signal the conversation was over. Never in a million years would I have expected this individual to say anything remotely negative about another person. I was speechless but not surprised.

My husband had a bad sixth sense about Patrick and the rest of the residents of The Compound as soon as they moved in. I thought he was judging them prematurely and told him I didn’t like what they were doing to the place but made an excuse for them… I said they just moved in, and we should give them some time. I’ve had this same sixth sense about people I’ve met in the past, one of which I told my spouse and he urged me to be patient with the guy. I eventually got to tell him “I told you so” on that one and now he gets to tell me “I told you so” about The Compound residents. I guess the bottom line is, when your spouse has the hair on the back of their neck stand up about an individual; listen to them.

Click here for an article from Politico on au pairs.